SHOTGUN (1989)

Directed by Addison Randall, U.S.A. The hilariously miscast Stuart Chapin and his beard star as maverick cop Ian “Shotgun” Jones in this cheap and nasty piece of craptastica which wrings every single cliche you can think of from the eighties action movie genre. The soundtrack, the hair, the clothes, the quips: everything simply oozes cheese, circa 1989. Every fifteen seconds or so, there’s something new to savour here: the dancing in the nightclub, the corridor in the police station full of extras bustling around, Chapin’s hysterical running, the A Team-style welding sequence. Awesome trash to watch again and again. 4/5.

ROLLS ROYCE BABY (1975)

Directed by Erwin C. Dietrich, Switzerland. Lina Romay stars as Lisa Romay, a movie star and model, who seems to spend most of her time masturbating. Lisa hires Erik (familiar genre face Eric Falk) as her chauffeur so she can be driven around the countryside in her vintage Rolls Royce and pick up hitchhikers to have sex with. This completely plotless offering is all about Lina, Lina, Lina and her naked body. That’s no bad thing, but the repetitive scenes of her grinding away with various strangers, coupled with the endlessly recycled music, ultimately has a numbing, rather than erotic, effect. 3/5.